On Luck And Raising Children

Consider two kids on their walk to school. One walks along a busy highway; the other through peaceful residential streets. Which of the two has a greater chance of being hit by a car? Everyone would agree that walking on residential sidewalks is safer, so the second kid is in a better position to avoid bad luck.

But this example has a deeper story behind it. There is a greater chance that the highway kid comes from a poor family, simply by virtue of his house and school being separated by a highway. Because he is poor, the chance he will grow up with poor health is greater, as is the chance he will not do well in school. So even if the car doesn’t hit him, there is a good chance something else will.

It is fair to say that when a man decides to have children, he must set them up to get lucky, and not to get unlucky. This idea manifests in many ways. One example is how the kid gets to school, but another is what he spends his time thinking about. For instance, if the child sees his parents struggling financially, he may adopt self-sacrificial behaviors to help them. That can easily lead to diminished self-esteem and a lack of confidence. Ensuring your child doesn’t worry about your financial problems has a huge effect on their mental health and outlook on life.

If you don’t want your kids to be fat, don’t fill your kitchen with pastries and ice cream; stock it with fruit and plain yogurt instead. Don’t let them sit around all day. What they do instead doesn’t matter, so long as it is conducive to the future you want for them. Every good day compounds, and even the smallest habits can have an outsized impact on their fate decades down the line.

Those with the worst luck generally end up dragging everything down around them. They fail at everything—not because they want to, but because it becomes their nature. They may end up destitute, in prison, or face an early death. The greatest example of this is Cain in Genesis 4: his poor lot corrupts his mind, and he murders his brother out of jealousy.