Genuine Happiness is a Prerequisite to Fruitful Social Interaction

Negative emotions and the pain that comes with them tell your body and mind to assume a defensive posture. This state is an active drain on your energy, even when you’re doing nothing. When you introduce thought into the equation, the energy loss increases exponentially. This isn’t just because any thought in such a state is likely to be negative and will extend your pain. It’s also because you have to actively fight with yourself to do more at a time when your body is trying to conserve energy and protect you. In such a state, as the difficulty of your thoughts increases, so does the likelihood of you losing composure or failing to respond to external stimuli.

How does this relate to making friends? If you try to interact with people when you’re unhappy with the intention of making them like you, you are attempting a deception. Setting aside the fact that this has a negative impact on others and is therefore ethically questionable, it is also very difficult. Most people can’t maintain such a deception for even a short interaction. Others may have crafted a comically positive outward posture, but there are always cracks in the facade that will clue people in to the fact that something is wrong.

Great interactions are ones where people share energy. They are operating on instinct and so expression comes naturally. They are not thinking about what to do. Negative emotions are wholly incompatible because they drain energy and create an intense inclination for thought.

Some of you have trauma associated with social interaction which can make you assume a defensive posture from the outset. If you truly want to make friends, you must first learn to be happy on your own, and you must overcome your traumas. Avoid others until you have done this.